My beloved son was home this weekend. Well, I say home. I hardly saw him. He arrived at midnight on Friday, slept till noon on Saturday, went out on Saturday night with his friends, slept till eleven on Sunday and returned to his school two hours later. His room, which I had scrubbed, dusted, tidied, made up the bed with fresh linen, etc etc (you get the picture) looked like a typhoon had had a party in it within 20 minutes. Without thinking, I found myself yelling: "You treat this place like a HOTEL!"
Arrrghh. I have become my mother. When did that happen?
This got me thinking (rather like Carrie in SATC, only thinking about it, not rather like Carrie, in that I weigh more than two stones) about the stuff our mothers said to us when we were growing up. Here's a sample. Feel free to add your own bon mots.
(When asking if I could have a bike for Christmas five minutes after I'd spilled tomato soup all over the kitchen table) "Bike? I'll give you bike!"
"You'll be smirking on the other side of your face!"
"If you climb up that wall once more and fall off and break your legs - don't come running to me."
"Eat like a Christian." (Yes, I know. My mother is Irish and a devout Roman Catholic. I blame the nuns.)
"If the wind changes, you'll be left looking like that."
"Don't sit on a cold wall. You'll get a chill on your kidneys." (Perhaps there is a mysterious wall somewhere that is warm?)
"You can't go out with freshly washed hair. You'll catch a chill." (Whereabouts of said chill, unspecified.)
Me to my mother as she was making a cake: "Can I lick out the bowl?" Mother to me: "No. If you eat raw cake mixture, you'll get worms."
Mother to my sister and I: "If you two are going to kill each other, do it outside. I've just washed the floor."
"Keep that crying up, and I'll give you something to cry about!"
"Look at the dirt on the back of your neck." (How, Mum?)
"There's starving children in Africa that would be grateful for that cabbage."
"Eat your crusts or you'll never get curly hair."
And finally:
"One day you'll have children. THEN YOU'LL SEE..........."
"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner"
ReplyDelete"That'll put hair on your chest" (I think that was mostly my dad, used for broccoli, cabbage, crusts, you name it)
"Come over here til I give you a slap". Do I look like a thick?? lol. Oh fun times :)
I hadn't heard 'eat like a Christian' before.
Great Post
ReplyDeleteMy mother- (Russian) If you don't go to sleep Baba Yaga will come and eat you. (That really put me in a sleepy mood)
Don't expose your chest as you will get a cold. (Doesn't bode well with the wonderbra outfits I have)
Never say anything is going well or it will all go wrong. (Just learnt to say- this day is going well withpout expecting the acopalypse)
If you don't stop I'll beat you so that you'll remember it for the rst of your life. (when she did I have!)
Crikey Eva - I don't think I'd want to get on the wrong side of your mother!
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm in blame mode, my mother would say "It takes two hands to clap".
ReplyDeleteYeah thanks for the support Mum.
LBB x
I used to get the "Sit at the table and eat like a christian" too, from my Nan,also devout catholic and yes, I have used it, much to the amusement of my aunt who said, you have turned into MY mother lol.
ReplyDeleteWe also used to get, "If the wind changes and your face is like that, it will stick!"
And I sympathie, clean and put fresh bedding and nice touches, within half an hour of my daughter arriving, it looks like a crap hole, her clothes are all in the "Floordrobe" drives me nuts it does lol.
Gems from mom and dad:
ReplyDelete1.while combing my 5 yr old hair'stand still' more fidgetting 'smack' ( brush breaks in two with force of hit on head)
2.'Don't open that door' door opens, dad running and then loud crack of open handed smack and ultimate crying by 7 year old.
3.phoning home while at Uni, toally supporting myself ' Hi mom' reply 'What do you want?'
4' 'Mom I'm engaged!' dating same man for 5 years 'reply 'To who?'
5. watching Charles and Di's wedding 'Ohhh I think he's cute!' father's reply ' well he sure wouldn't be interested in you!'
6. 'We've picked our wedding date mom it's...' reply 'oh your father and I are busy with the summer games then.' Only child and they didn't come.
Needless to say RK I savour special memories of childhood. :P
Good grief, Carla. How dreadful. You poor girl. I hope you're enjoying a happy and hugely successful life, despite the above.
ReplyDeleteAll fine, very little contact over the years, felt sorry for my children missing out on GPs but in the long run probably better. Not much damage to me, I realized a long time ago that all of the anger was theirs, fidgeting and door opening is definitely allowed in my world. ps. head has healed nicely. :)
ReplyDelete