So Far Away

My teen children's largely absent father calls (a rare enough occurrence in itself) and asks them if they would like a holiday in Los Angeles. For the entire month of August. My daughter, ever receptive to an opportunity to party, says yes immediately; my son is hesitant. I convinced him this was a "chance of a lifetime" and he should say yes. It means he won't be able to collect his GCSE results in person or go to Leeds Festival, a long cherished ambition and something which he has saved for over the past year, but the pull of L.A. is stronger, as it should be.


I am not party to any of these negotiations as I am not allowed to talk to the Ex (I'm afraid I am sufficiently petty that I usually refer to him as the Vile Ex but here I will attempt to be better than that). In the decade since we divorced we have had periods when we speak, periods when we speak a lot and periods when we don't speak at all. We are not speaking now because last year my son broke his wrist playing rugby and had to undergo two separate operations, both times under general anaesthetic, to reset his wrist and the Ex refused to visit him in hospital as it was "inconvenient". Yes, he lives in Hertfordshire these days, but still. Or perhaps you think me unreasonable to mind this? Anyway, I reacted with fury and since then there has been no contact.


Anyway, he generally communicates with his children - well, my children with him - via email. Christmas Day, for example. One line. He was on holiday somewhere - I think it might have been Mexico, none of us were told exactly - but surely his hotel must have had a telephone? To be fair, he had met them in November and bought his son an i-pod as his Christmas present. His daughter had been invited to Barbados with a mate (wowser, not jealous at all) so I paid for the flight and he gave her her spending money. However, this money was in lieu of both her Christmas and Birthday presents. I might add her father is extremely rich. That's all I'm saying.


I whinged about this rather a lot and eventually one of my closest friends told me that I did this with boring regularity and I should give myself and everyone else a break and stop it. Once I'd come out of my huff I recognised that she was probably right. Okay, absolutely right. I can't do anything about his behaviour and I might as well shake my fist at the sky when it rains for all the good it does.


So far this year, the kids have seen their father once. In March. Actually I'm wrong, only my son saw him as my daughter was competing in a singing festival and also singing at Ripon Cathedral on the day he chose to visit Yorkshire. He bought my son a laptop for his birthday. This was absolutely brilliant, my son was thrilled, but it rather raised one or two thorny questions of equality with his sister (see above).


I'm fearful as to how they will cope for a month with two adults they barely know, their two step-sisters (19 year old twins, I've met them once, seem perfectly nice) they barely know and a three year old half brother they barely know (but like, naturally). Of course, a month-long holiday in what will, without question, be luxurious surroundings must be view as a GOOD THING and I do view it that way, honestly I do. More importantly, it might result in a better relationship with their Father and Step-Mother which again, is a GOOD THING. And there's bound to be exciting sight-seeing trips and so on. All GOOD THINGS.

I do wish I could afford to take the kids on such a holiday though. I'm small and petty aren't I?